Most of my blogs on this site have been focused on how you feel about yourself, raising your self-esteem level, achieving personal goals and treating yourself and other people with respect. Now it is time for my favorite topic! When you put all of the elements of who you are together, show that you can make good decisions and use a common sense approach to what needs to be done in order to advance your life in a positive direction, your intelligence level shines through! I know not everyone is necessarily book smart. Although being book smart is important, it is equally important that you be intelligent.
There are ways to increase your intelligence level and when you improve in those areas, you can have an intelligent conversation with just about anyone, discussing just about anything and feel confident in knowing that your input is just as important to the conversation. So, here are a few tips to do just that:
Reading Really is Fundamental - A great way to sharpen your mind is to READ! Reading is the basis for everything that you will do in life. The more you read, the more you learn. Do not limit yourself to one type of reading material. Read often and read everything! Reading builds your vocabulary, as well. Read your local newspaper to stay current on what is going around you; read novels on whatever subject entertains you or sparks your interest; read how-to books on any hobbies that you may have; if you have little ones in your life, read children’s books to them – Again read often and read everything!
Think before you speak! - Sometimes we think just having something to say is enough to hold a conversation. Unfortunately, if you just say words just to hear yourself talk, but do not put much effort into the content of what you are saying, then you are speaking empty words, and soon you’ll find that people rather not listen to you. But if you talk with clarity and forethought, you become a beacon of light for people who want advice or need direction. Gossiping and badmouthing others can get you in a lot of trouble, so be intelligent enough to stay away from those terrible forms of conversation.
Your actions speak for you: When you continually say one thing, but do the opposite, you lose your credibility. Let your word be your guidance. If you say you are going to do something, short of it becoming the impossible to do, give your every effort to follow through with your word. Otherwise, you become the boy who cried wolf and people will begin to question whether you are trustworthy in your actions.
Be a Leader: You have a great mind!! Use it! When you know what the best decision is for a positive outcome in a situation, and you know that the things you do have a major affect on your life or others, step up to the plate and take care of business. You don’t have to wait to be told to do what is already obvious. Being intelligent means choosing long term choices over short term pleasure. If you know you have a test that you need to study for and your buddies try to convince you to attend “the party of the year” (which they all seem to be!). An intelligent decision would be to skip the infamous party and study. You will certainly feel the long term affects of that decision over the short term pleasure of some party that you will find was not all that great to begin with!
Listening is key – I know you may think you have all the answers, but you first have to learn how to listen to the question! You will be surprised what you can learn simply from listening! Whether you’re listening to someone else’s opinion or listening to someone else’s problems, the best way to be responsive is to thoroughly listen. This is really key in a relationship. When couples are busy going back and forth with each other, nothing gets resolved because no one has bothered to hear what the other person is saying. You can’t give a solution if you haven’t heard the problem. So, if you are always quick to respond, just take a deep breath and make sure you have heard everything that was being said then respond intelligently!
Help Others Make Good Decisions – If you follow these tips, you will find yourself increasing your mind’s potential, no matter what your intelligence level was to begin with. Your intelligence, coupled with your healthy self esteem will give you the tools to help others make good decisions. People will start to value your opinion and seek your advice for many things. The feeling that you will experience from helping others without wanting or needing anything in return will only make you want to continue to improve yourself so that you will always be at the ready when someone needs your intelligent advice!
Monday, October 6, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Take Care of You!
Taking good care of your body is extremely important on the road to improving your self esteem. We all do the daily routine of taking a shower, doing our hair, brushing our teeth, etc. But, unfortunately, not all of us are good at really taking care of ourselves.
I know a lot of us are doctor shy, but routine doctor visits are so key in maintaining a healthy body. A lot of diseases and ailments can be detected early with regular check-ups. If you know your family has a history of certain medical conditions, it is extremely important that you get checked for those conditions, even at your young age. You should also have routine dental and eye exams. There are also other certain gender specific checks that should be done as described later in this article. You may feel invincible because you are young, but how well you take care of yourself now can determine the condition your body will end up in during your golden years!
Daily routines such as, exercising, eating properly and drinking water, will contribute to a healthy lifestyle. Keeping yourself well hydrated is excellent for healthy skin. As we all know, exercising is key to staying fit and feeling energized. If you are just starting out with an exercise regiment, choose one that you know you can achieve safely as to not injure yourself. Make sure you know your limitations and gradually increase your exercise regiment as you increase your endurance level. Whatever your eating habits are, make sure that you understand that the saying you are what you eat means that what you put into your body will help determine how you feel. If you do not think that is true, pay attention to how miserable you are the next time you over eat! Remember that proportion is key and two pounds of salad with a half a bottle of salad dressing is not healthy eating. If you eat properly and exercise on a regular basis, there will never be a need to binge diet. Please note that binge dieting can be very dangerous and I do not encourage it. It is also important to know that drugs, drinking and smoking can wreak havoc on your body! It is best not to start any of those bad habits!
To my young ladies, if you are 18 or older and/or sexually active, it is time for you to schedule a yearly pap smear. A Pap smear is a vaginal test that detects cervical cancer. Cervical cancer is treatable if it is detected early enough. Be smart about your body. You are old enough now to know when something is different about the way you feel and what your body is going through. If something does not feel right, it probably is not right. If you have a family doctor or a specific doctor that you visit regularly, make sure that you are comfortable enough to discuss your body and anything that might be going on with it.
On another note, looking beautiful does not mean wearing a ton of make up! If you truly take care of yourself, unless you have specific issues that need to be taken care of, your skin will start to look beautiful on its own and will not need a whole lot of cover up. If you do find that you still need to wear make up, tone it down and wear colors that compliment your skin tone. Otherwise, save the make up for special occasions when you really want to get dressed and dazzle the crowd! Let your inner beauty shine and it will reflect in your outer beauty. It is great to be sexy, but be discreet. If you put all of your business out there, there is nothing left for the imagination. Curiosity is a conversation piece!! Learn which colors and styles look best on you and compliment your body type. You do not have to have an hour glass figure to be beautiful or feel good about yourself. If you and your best girlfriend are not built the same, then nine out of ten, you cannot wear the same type of clothes. Always remember that your physical appearance is the first thing that people will notice about you, so give them something positive to say about you!
To my young men, for some reason, it is a little tougher to get you to go to the doctor for check-ups, but there are male medical issues that you need to be aware of, as well. You too need to be concerned about family medical conditions. While some young ladies do like a rugged look, I think it is safe to say that no young lady wants to be around an unclean man! Physical hygiene is just as important for you, as it is for your female counterparts! First and foremost, PULL YOUR PANTS UP OVER YOUR BUTT!! I do not have a clue who started this fashion trend, but it is one of the most degrading ones that I have ever seen. No one wants to see your under garments, with emphasis on the word UNDER!
If you truly want people to respect you, then you must at least look the part, for starters. We all know athletic gear is most comfortable, but enlist a few dressier pieces of clothing in your wardrobe. People take you serious when you look professional. The same principal applies to you that you do not have to have a six pack and bulging muscles to look good or feel good about yourself. You make yourself so much more attractive when you are clean, healthy and have pride in your physical appearance.
To sum it all up, when you feel good on the inside and look good on the outside, you are on your way to a confidence level that will skyrocket a healthy self esteem.
I know a lot of us are doctor shy, but routine doctor visits are so key in maintaining a healthy body. A lot of diseases and ailments can be detected early with regular check-ups. If you know your family has a history of certain medical conditions, it is extremely important that you get checked for those conditions, even at your young age. You should also have routine dental and eye exams. There are also other certain gender specific checks that should be done as described later in this article. You may feel invincible because you are young, but how well you take care of yourself now can determine the condition your body will end up in during your golden years!
Daily routines such as, exercising, eating properly and drinking water, will contribute to a healthy lifestyle. Keeping yourself well hydrated is excellent for healthy skin. As we all know, exercising is key to staying fit and feeling energized. If you are just starting out with an exercise regiment, choose one that you know you can achieve safely as to not injure yourself. Make sure you know your limitations and gradually increase your exercise regiment as you increase your endurance level. Whatever your eating habits are, make sure that you understand that the saying you are what you eat means that what you put into your body will help determine how you feel. If you do not think that is true, pay attention to how miserable you are the next time you over eat! Remember that proportion is key and two pounds of salad with a half a bottle of salad dressing is not healthy eating. If you eat properly and exercise on a regular basis, there will never be a need to binge diet. Please note that binge dieting can be very dangerous and I do not encourage it. It is also important to know that drugs, drinking and smoking can wreak havoc on your body! It is best not to start any of those bad habits!
To my young ladies, if you are 18 or older and/or sexually active, it is time for you to schedule a yearly pap smear. A Pap smear is a vaginal test that detects cervical cancer. Cervical cancer is treatable if it is detected early enough. Be smart about your body. You are old enough now to know when something is different about the way you feel and what your body is going through. If something does not feel right, it probably is not right. If you have a family doctor or a specific doctor that you visit regularly, make sure that you are comfortable enough to discuss your body and anything that might be going on with it.
On another note, looking beautiful does not mean wearing a ton of make up! If you truly take care of yourself, unless you have specific issues that need to be taken care of, your skin will start to look beautiful on its own and will not need a whole lot of cover up. If you do find that you still need to wear make up, tone it down and wear colors that compliment your skin tone. Otherwise, save the make up for special occasions when you really want to get dressed and dazzle the crowd! Let your inner beauty shine and it will reflect in your outer beauty. It is great to be sexy, but be discreet. If you put all of your business out there, there is nothing left for the imagination. Curiosity is a conversation piece!! Learn which colors and styles look best on you and compliment your body type. You do not have to have an hour glass figure to be beautiful or feel good about yourself. If you and your best girlfriend are not built the same, then nine out of ten, you cannot wear the same type of clothes. Always remember that your physical appearance is the first thing that people will notice about you, so give them something positive to say about you!
To my young men, for some reason, it is a little tougher to get you to go to the doctor for check-ups, but there are male medical issues that you need to be aware of, as well. You too need to be concerned about family medical conditions. While some young ladies do like a rugged look, I think it is safe to say that no young lady wants to be around an unclean man! Physical hygiene is just as important for you, as it is for your female counterparts! First and foremost, PULL YOUR PANTS UP OVER YOUR BUTT!! I do not have a clue who started this fashion trend, but it is one of the most degrading ones that I have ever seen. No one wants to see your under garments, with emphasis on the word UNDER!
If you truly want people to respect you, then you must at least look the part, for starters. We all know athletic gear is most comfortable, but enlist a few dressier pieces of clothing in your wardrobe. People take you serious when you look professional. The same principal applies to you that you do not have to have a six pack and bulging muscles to look good or feel good about yourself. You make yourself so much more attractive when you are clean, healthy and have pride in your physical appearance.
To sum it all up, when you feel good on the inside and look good on the outside, you are on your way to a confidence level that will skyrocket a healthy self esteem.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Appreciation For Life
I was watching a report on the aftermath of Hurricane Ike and its affects on Texas and other areas that were hit by the hurricane. For a brief second, I almost gave power to sadness and let that terrible image remain in my head for the rest of the day. Instead, I decided to find out how I could help some of the families that were affected by that natural disaster. Where I could have easily slumped into a negative state of mind and let the misfortune of others bring depression into my life, I turned that terrible thought into a positive solution. Not only that, once again the woes of the world affirmed my appreciation for life!
Too many times we take our own life for granted and think that everything has to be the way it is. Fortunately, we were all blessed with the ability to overcome anything. We can let society dictate to us that we have to stay a certain way once turmoil has entered our lives or we can take our lives into our own hands and choose to be positive and create a better path for ourselves, even if we need to enlist the help of others. We are of no use to anyone if we do not understand that life is valuable and that each day has to be treated as a precious commodity. How we are to ourselves and how we are to others play an important role on the emotional mind set that we set for ourselves.
It is always easy to give up and let life’s misfortunes knock you down and keep you down, but you will always find yourself in a sad or angry state of mind if you let that happen. A positive attitude is so uplifting and powerful that it even empowers people in your path to want to do better and often people will ask you how you are able to always stay in a good mood despite any negative surroundings. But when you are always negative and/or sad you will find that people alienate you because deep down nobody really wants to be sad or angry all the time, nor do they wish to be around people who constantly succumb to those emotions.
I personally know a beautiful young lady who lost her mother when she was only eight years old. Her sister, who was just 19 at the time, took her in and did her best to take care of her. Because her sister was also dealing with the loss of their mother while trying to raise a family in her teen life, it was difficult for the older sister to give her baby sister the type life she had hoped. This young lady would go on to endure other personal pitfalls in her young teen life. The tragic loss of her mother at an early age, compounded with other challenges she faced in her teen years had all of the makings for giving up and rebelling against the world. Through her own determination, she persevered, she prayed a lot and she decided to do what it took to change the quality of her life in memory of her mother. Because of that wonderful decision, today she is a Dean’s list senior in college with her mind already set on furthering her education in Graduate school. She is strong willed, she is smart and most of all she has an appreciation for life! I am extremely proud of her and all that she has accomplished despite the adversities in her life!
It is easy to get caught up in all the things that are wrong in your life, but when you overcome your adversities, your life becomes other people’s strength. Someone is always watching you and it is your responsibility to give them something positive to see.
Too many times we take our own life for granted and think that everything has to be the way it is. Fortunately, we were all blessed with the ability to overcome anything. We can let society dictate to us that we have to stay a certain way once turmoil has entered our lives or we can take our lives into our own hands and choose to be positive and create a better path for ourselves, even if we need to enlist the help of others. We are of no use to anyone if we do not understand that life is valuable and that each day has to be treated as a precious commodity. How we are to ourselves and how we are to others play an important role on the emotional mind set that we set for ourselves.
It is always easy to give up and let life’s misfortunes knock you down and keep you down, but you will always find yourself in a sad or angry state of mind if you let that happen. A positive attitude is so uplifting and powerful that it even empowers people in your path to want to do better and often people will ask you how you are able to always stay in a good mood despite any negative surroundings. But when you are always negative and/or sad you will find that people alienate you because deep down nobody really wants to be sad or angry all the time, nor do they wish to be around people who constantly succumb to those emotions.
I personally know a beautiful young lady who lost her mother when she was only eight years old. Her sister, who was just 19 at the time, took her in and did her best to take care of her. Because her sister was also dealing with the loss of their mother while trying to raise a family in her teen life, it was difficult for the older sister to give her baby sister the type life she had hoped. This young lady would go on to endure other personal pitfalls in her young teen life. The tragic loss of her mother at an early age, compounded with other challenges she faced in her teen years had all of the makings for giving up and rebelling against the world. Through her own determination, she persevered, she prayed a lot and she decided to do what it took to change the quality of her life in memory of her mother. Because of that wonderful decision, today she is a Dean’s list senior in college with her mind already set on furthering her education in Graduate school. She is strong willed, she is smart and most of all she has an appreciation for life! I am extremely proud of her and all that she has accomplished despite the adversities in her life!
It is easy to get caught up in all the things that are wrong in your life, but when you overcome your adversities, your life becomes other people’s strength. Someone is always watching you and it is your responsibility to give them something positive to see.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Effective Communication Clears Up Confusion
How often have you told someone, “you know what I meant”? Well, it is a good practice to get out of that habit! We all wish that people knew what we were thinking just by looking at us or “knowing” us. However, the fact is that people can change so much from day to day that it is hard to always understand what one is thinking, even those we think we know well. Good example, my daughter’s favorite color has been pink for as long as I can remember, or so I thought. Well, today, I actually asked her what her favorite color was and to my surprise she does not have a favorite color! Imagine that! And I know her so well! Now, this particular example is certainly a minor issue, but it just goes to show you that unless you ask specific questions from a person or tell people precisely what you want them to know about you, you can never be sure what a person is thinking or feeling and they will not know you as well as you might think they do. Therefore, it is almost impossible for people to always know what you mean or know what is going on with you, unless you tell them.
I recently talked to a young woman discussing her disappointment concerning a gift she was expecting her husband to get her for her birthday. She assumed he knew what she wanted for her birthday. I asked her if she told him that she wanted to replace her stolen tennis bracelet for her birthday and her answer to me was, “he should have known that I would want to replace my bracelet.” Well, maybe he should have known. However, I told her that the disconnect was hers because she did not directly tell him that she wanted her bracelet replaced for or by her birthday. Yes, he probably intended to replace it eventually, but the only way he would have truly known what the intended time frame for the replacement to take place, was for her to tell him. Now, he could have been kind enough to ask, but the burden of surety lies on her for this particular incident, because it was her wish that was to be fulfilled, not his. You really set yourself up to be disappointed when you assume that people know what is on your mind.
A more serious example; a young couple left their child in daycare for over an hour after the facility was due to close because the mother assumed the dad was going to pick up the child and the dad assumed the mom was going to pick up the child, based on a very unclear conversation they had earlier in the day. The rules of the center was clear that if a parent or guardian was going to be late picking up their children, a phone call must be placed before the closing hour or the facility had the right to terminate the daycare service immediately. The parents missed more than 4 days of work a piece trying to find replacement daycare due to their lack of communication to each other; not to mention the tension that built up within the relationship with blame and finger pointing. Again, both people were actually to blame because neither parent bothered to get in touch with the other to confirm the plans for their own child! A phone call, which could have taken all of twenty seconds to confirm, would have alleviated this issue.
So here are some key suggestions to improve on your communications skills:
1. Be honest with yourself about what it is you want people to know about you. The more information you give, the more likely a person can effectively reach out to you. Some people tend to “bottle up” their personal information in an attempt to be elusive, but then get upset or disappointed when no one really knows personal things about them. I have seen grown women cry because they did not receive a visit or phone call for a special occasion, but when asked if they told anyone about the special occasion, the reply was no! End of the pity party!!
2. Never assume that a person already knows what is in your heart or mind. And never assume you know what is in a person’s heart or mind. Ask clear, precise questions in the attempt to get clear, precise answers. You could lose out in a lot of situations holding back on your thoughts for fear of being hurt or misunderstood. The hurt and misunderstanding is always worse when you never speak up and lose out because of it.
3. Be detailed in the information that you are giving. For example, if you are depending on a ride to or from somewhere, make sure the person you are depending on knows very close to, if not the exact time and location of where they need to be. Trust me, it is not fun standing out in the cold or rain waiting for a ride because the information exchanged was not clear to either you or the driver!
4. Speak up for yourself! Your boss will never know you deserve a better raise if you do not tell him/her! Your teacher will never know you do not understand an assignment if you just walk out of class every day and say nothing to him/her. Mind reading is not a popular course!
5. Being rude is not a part of effective communication. You can clearly tell someone how you feel or what you are thinking without being rude. In fact, your words are heard more thoroughly when you remain calm, professional and sure of yourself. Make it a practice not let people take you out of your calm element. I know it is very hard sometimes, but you have to dig deeper and try harder in order for effective communication to become a part of you.
And, just so you know, I think you are wonderful, I would love to get to know you better and I hope you have learned something important on my website! If there is anything you would like to know about me, just ask!
I recently talked to a young woman discussing her disappointment concerning a gift she was expecting her husband to get her for her birthday. She assumed he knew what she wanted for her birthday. I asked her if she told him that she wanted to replace her stolen tennis bracelet for her birthday and her answer to me was, “he should have known that I would want to replace my bracelet.” Well, maybe he should have known. However, I told her that the disconnect was hers because she did not directly tell him that she wanted her bracelet replaced for or by her birthday. Yes, he probably intended to replace it eventually, but the only way he would have truly known what the intended time frame for the replacement to take place, was for her to tell him. Now, he could have been kind enough to ask, but the burden of surety lies on her for this particular incident, because it was her wish that was to be fulfilled, not his. You really set yourself up to be disappointed when you assume that people know what is on your mind.
A more serious example; a young couple left their child in daycare for over an hour after the facility was due to close because the mother assumed the dad was going to pick up the child and the dad assumed the mom was going to pick up the child, based on a very unclear conversation they had earlier in the day. The rules of the center was clear that if a parent or guardian was going to be late picking up their children, a phone call must be placed before the closing hour or the facility had the right to terminate the daycare service immediately. The parents missed more than 4 days of work a piece trying to find replacement daycare due to their lack of communication to each other; not to mention the tension that built up within the relationship with blame and finger pointing. Again, both people were actually to blame because neither parent bothered to get in touch with the other to confirm the plans for their own child! A phone call, which could have taken all of twenty seconds to confirm, would have alleviated this issue.
So here are some key suggestions to improve on your communications skills:
1. Be honest with yourself about what it is you want people to know about you. The more information you give, the more likely a person can effectively reach out to you. Some people tend to “bottle up” their personal information in an attempt to be elusive, but then get upset or disappointed when no one really knows personal things about them. I have seen grown women cry because they did not receive a visit or phone call for a special occasion, but when asked if they told anyone about the special occasion, the reply was no! End of the pity party!!
2. Never assume that a person already knows what is in your heart or mind. And never assume you know what is in a person’s heart or mind. Ask clear, precise questions in the attempt to get clear, precise answers. You could lose out in a lot of situations holding back on your thoughts for fear of being hurt or misunderstood. The hurt and misunderstanding is always worse when you never speak up and lose out because of it.
3. Be detailed in the information that you are giving. For example, if you are depending on a ride to or from somewhere, make sure the person you are depending on knows very close to, if not the exact time and location of where they need to be. Trust me, it is not fun standing out in the cold or rain waiting for a ride because the information exchanged was not clear to either you or the driver!
4. Speak up for yourself! Your boss will never know you deserve a better raise if you do not tell him/her! Your teacher will never know you do not understand an assignment if you just walk out of class every day and say nothing to him/her. Mind reading is not a popular course!
5. Being rude is not a part of effective communication. You can clearly tell someone how you feel or what you are thinking without being rude. In fact, your words are heard more thoroughly when you remain calm, professional and sure of yourself. Make it a practice not let people take you out of your calm element. I know it is very hard sometimes, but you have to dig deeper and try harder in order for effective communication to become a part of you.
And, just so you know, I think you are wonderful, I would love to get to know you better and I hope you have learned something important on my website! If there is anything you would like to know about me, just ask!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Your Right to Vote; Your Right to Remain Silent
This is an important year for our country! On November 4, 2008, this country will go to the voting booths in the process to elect a new leader, the President of the United States! If you are 18 or will be by Election Day, you have reached voting age as an American citizen and that is a major milestone! Please register to vote! If you have not or are not sure how to register to vote, please visit http://www.eac.gov/voter/how-to-contact-your-state-election-office. Click on your state’s website to obtain all of the information you need to register to vote. Do not take your right to vote for granted! It is a privilege to be able to make your vote count!
I recently saw a quote that said “bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote”. When you do not vote, you give up your right to complain about the actions of the officials in office. By voting, you get to let your opinion count. I truly hope that you have been paying attention to what has been going on in this country so that you can maturely help elect the person who you think will best take care of all the things that are important to you and your family.
This election year is one of the most profound election years in our country’s history! There is so much going on in our world right now that it is sometimes baffling how any of us can even keep it all together. But the fact remains that we have to carry on, we have to live each day, and we have to maintain. Gas prices are at an all time record high, health care is at sky rocket prices or non existing (depending on your family’s wealth) the economy is a mess, the military is exhausted! We are in desperate need of a leader who can at least begin to repair some of the damage that has been done by our current President.
It is not my place to tell you who to vote for as this is certainly no campaign support site. But I think we can all agree that something needs to be done about the mess that this country is in right now.
If you have been doing your homework and following the candidates and what they have been telling or showing about what they intend to do as President, then you should have enough information by now to know who you feel would represent this country the best. If you haven’t been following the candidates, it is not too late. Last night the Democrat Convention ended with an excellent speech by Senator Barack Obama. If you missed the Democrat’s convention, you can visit the convention website at http://www.demconvention.com/. The Republican Convention starts on Monday, September 1, 2008 with Senator John McCain and his camp. The Republican Convention site is http://www.gopconvention.com/. There is still time for you to catch up on the campaign of both candidates. Make a list of all the things that you would like to see this country improve on. Start with the things that directly affect you, your home, your neighborhood, your school and if you really want to make an informed choice, do some research on the jobs that both candidates have done to date as Senators. Know what issues are important to you and your family and compare your list with both candidates to see who has the same ideas, principals, priorities and beliefs as you.
For those of you who have reached voting age, it is so important to understand why your opinion counts! Before now, most of the day to day family decisions have been pretty much left up to your parents or other adults to deal with. Now that you are becoming an adult, the issues that your parents have been dealing with will soon become your cross to bear, as well! As you know, a president is elected for 4 years, and if able to convince enough people that he has done his job, he could get elected for four more years. If you are at least 18 years old, the decision you make or the one you don’t make can follow you from now until you are at least 26 years old, which means you could certainly have a family by then and your decision to vote or not to vote now will certainly affect you, your spouse and your children in the future!
Voting isn’t mandatory in the sense that you will be personally penalized if you don’t vote. But it is mandatory in the sense that our country could be penalized if you choose not to vote! If you are ready to show the world that you are becoming an adult, this is one of the first adult things that you get to do. So please, don’t choose to remain silent, choose to VOTE!
If you have any questions, please email me and I will help you or make sure you get to someone who can help you!
I recently saw a quote that said “bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote”. When you do not vote, you give up your right to complain about the actions of the officials in office. By voting, you get to let your opinion count. I truly hope that you have been paying attention to what has been going on in this country so that you can maturely help elect the person who you think will best take care of all the things that are important to you and your family.
This election year is one of the most profound election years in our country’s history! There is so much going on in our world right now that it is sometimes baffling how any of us can even keep it all together. But the fact remains that we have to carry on, we have to live each day, and we have to maintain. Gas prices are at an all time record high, health care is at sky rocket prices or non existing (depending on your family’s wealth) the economy is a mess, the military is exhausted! We are in desperate need of a leader who can at least begin to repair some of the damage that has been done by our current President.
It is not my place to tell you who to vote for as this is certainly no campaign support site. But I think we can all agree that something needs to be done about the mess that this country is in right now.
If you have been doing your homework and following the candidates and what they have been telling or showing about what they intend to do as President, then you should have enough information by now to know who you feel would represent this country the best. If you haven’t been following the candidates, it is not too late. Last night the Democrat Convention ended with an excellent speech by Senator Barack Obama. If you missed the Democrat’s convention, you can visit the convention website at http://www.demconvention.com/. The Republican Convention starts on Monday, September 1, 2008 with Senator John McCain and his camp. The Republican Convention site is http://www.gopconvention.com/. There is still time for you to catch up on the campaign of both candidates. Make a list of all the things that you would like to see this country improve on. Start with the things that directly affect you, your home, your neighborhood, your school and if you really want to make an informed choice, do some research on the jobs that both candidates have done to date as Senators. Know what issues are important to you and your family and compare your list with both candidates to see who has the same ideas, principals, priorities and beliefs as you.
For those of you who have reached voting age, it is so important to understand why your opinion counts! Before now, most of the day to day family decisions have been pretty much left up to your parents or other adults to deal with. Now that you are becoming an adult, the issues that your parents have been dealing with will soon become your cross to bear, as well! As you know, a president is elected for 4 years, and if able to convince enough people that he has done his job, he could get elected for four more years. If you are at least 18 years old, the decision you make or the one you don’t make can follow you from now until you are at least 26 years old, which means you could certainly have a family by then and your decision to vote or not to vote now will certainly affect you, your spouse and your children in the future!
Voting isn’t mandatory in the sense that you will be personally penalized if you don’t vote. But it is mandatory in the sense that our country could be penalized if you choose not to vote! If you are ready to show the world that you are becoming an adult, this is one of the first adult things that you get to do. So please, don’t choose to remain silent, choose to VOTE!
If you have any questions, please email me and I will help you or make sure you get to someone who can help you!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Sex Does Not Equal Love!
We live in a time where society no longer pressures young people to wait until marriage for sex. Sex is no longer taboo. In fact, the media would have you believe that sex is the most “in” thing to do. Sex has even become a major marketing tool for a lot of companies to sell their products! The irony of the entire sex campaign is that if the education on sex practices and all of the issues that go along with having sex are not handled properly, it can be extremely destructive, even deadly!! I personally encourage young adults to practice abstinence, whether it be waiting for marriage for religious beliefs or until they have done all of the necessary homework to have a safe, meaningful, relationship with someone whom they have entered into a long term, monogamous relationship with. The sad reality is that most teens and young adults try sex long before marriage or even a serious relationship. There are a lot of consequences when you decide to have sex at an early age and/or if you decide to at any age without making intelligent choices.
I have asked many young ladies why they have chosen to have sex so young. The most heart breaking responses have been “he told me if I love him, I would do it” and “because he was going to break up with me if I didn’t”! Usually when the reasons are that relaxed, the repercussions are astounding! These young ladies, unfortunately, are struggling with self esteem issues. Ladies, I want you to understand that one of the purposes for building a healthy self-esteem is to counteract such ignorance. Your body should never be used as a bargaining tool for any reason! If a young man decides that not having sex with him is reason to break up with you, then you can believe he is going to break up with you anyway! Therefore, you might as well let him break up with you and keep your dignity intact. I recently talked to a young lady who has been in some form of relationship with, but had not had sex (according to her), with 12 boys/young men since the age of 12. She is now 19. To give her something to think about, I asked her what if she had decided to have sex with each guy as leverage so they wouldn’t break up with her. She was so disgusted at the thought of potentially having 12 sex partners at her age and still no serious relationship in sight. Here is why she was so disgusted: two of the guys she dated admitted to having over 20 sex partners at the ripe old age of 19, 1 of the guys she dated had been in multiple homosexual relationships, 3 of the guys she dated admitted to having some form of sexually transmitted disease, and those are just the guys who shared their information with her! I commended her on her decision to remain a virgin and encouraged her that while friendly “dating” can be harmless, she needed to be careful and aware of how far she wants the dating to go, since that choice is strictly up to her. So far, she is doing just fine and have decided to remain a virgin! I am very proud of her!
There was a time when getting pregnant was probably the biggest concern of having sex. While getting pregnant is still high on the list, there are even bigger issues when choosing to have sex. AIDS, for instance, kills!! Many of you are probably thinking that since you use protection, you are probably safe. Unfortunately, that is also a myth. The ONLY sure fire way to not get pregnant or get any sexually transmitted diseases is to not have sex. The problem is that a lot of young people feel invincible and say immature things like “it only happened one time.” It only takes one time to get pregnant! It only takes one time to get a sexually transmitted disease!
Young men, I know you’ve heard all sorts of negative comments, such as men are dogs, men can’t be trusted, etc. I challenge you to be the kind of young man to prove those statements wrong. I know those are stereotypes that our society continues to encourage, but it is time for you to work towards cleaning up the image so you can change that stereotype. Having sex doesn’t make you cool, it doesn’t guarantee love, it isn’t even always the thrill that you have been foolishly forced into believing! Be strong enough to make wiser choices about having sex. Having sex is not merely some form of entertainment. It is something to be shared between two mature individuals who have maintained a commitment to each other and should not be taken lightly. You put your life and other people’s live in jeopardy when you casually have sex for entertainment.
Young men and women, the truth is, if you care about yourself, your body and the lives of others, do not enter into relationships that put your life in danger, that compromises your beliefs, or that demeans your character! Learn how to say “no, I’m not ready”! That is the most adult response you could give. You have no control over other people’s actions, but you are in full command of your own choices. Respect yourself enough to force others to respect you, as well, simply by your actions. It will be very difficult for someone to approach you with nonsense when you are armed with a healthy self-esteem and the ability to have a strong mind. The truth is if he/she really loves you, then he/she will wait until you are ready, rather than forcing you into making decisions that you are not ready for. Sex does not equal love!
I have asked many young ladies why they have chosen to have sex so young. The most heart breaking responses have been “he told me if I love him, I would do it” and “because he was going to break up with me if I didn’t”! Usually when the reasons are that relaxed, the repercussions are astounding! These young ladies, unfortunately, are struggling with self esteem issues. Ladies, I want you to understand that one of the purposes for building a healthy self-esteem is to counteract such ignorance. Your body should never be used as a bargaining tool for any reason! If a young man decides that not having sex with him is reason to break up with you, then you can believe he is going to break up with you anyway! Therefore, you might as well let him break up with you and keep your dignity intact. I recently talked to a young lady who has been in some form of relationship with, but had not had sex (according to her), with 12 boys/young men since the age of 12. She is now 19. To give her something to think about, I asked her what if she had decided to have sex with each guy as leverage so they wouldn’t break up with her. She was so disgusted at the thought of potentially having 12 sex partners at her age and still no serious relationship in sight. Here is why she was so disgusted: two of the guys she dated admitted to having over 20 sex partners at the ripe old age of 19, 1 of the guys she dated had been in multiple homosexual relationships, 3 of the guys she dated admitted to having some form of sexually transmitted disease, and those are just the guys who shared their information with her! I commended her on her decision to remain a virgin and encouraged her that while friendly “dating” can be harmless, she needed to be careful and aware of how far she wants the dating to go, since that choice is strictly up to her. So far, she is doing just fine and have decided to remain a virgin! I am very proud of her!
There was a time when getting pregnant was probably the biggest concern of having sex. While getting pregnant is still high on the list, there are even bigger issues when choosing to have sex. AIDS, for instance, kills!! Many of you are probably thinking that since you use protection, you are probably safe. Unfortunately, that is also a myth. The ONLY sure fire way to not get pregnant or get any sexually transmitted diseases is to not have sex. The problem is that a lot of young people feel invincible and say immature things like “it only happened one time.” It only takes one time to get pregnant! It only takes one time to get a sexually transmitted disease!
Young men, I know you’ve heard all sorts of negative comments, such as men are dogs, men can’t be trusted, etc. I challenge you to be the kind of young man to prove those statements wrong. I know those are stereotypes that our society continues to encourage, but it is time for you to work towards cleaning up the image so you can change that stereotype. Having sex doesn’t make you cool, it doesn’t guarantee love, it isn’t even always the thrill that you have been foolishly forced into believing! Be strong enough to make wiser choices about having sex. Having sex is not merely some form of entertainment. It is something to be shared between two mature individuals who have maintained a commitment to each other and should not be taken lightly. You put your life and other people’s live in jeopardy when you casually have sex for entertainment.
Young men and women, the truth is, if you care about yourself, your body and the lives of others, do not enter into relationships that put your life in danger, that compromises your beliefs, or that demeans your character! Learn how to say “no, I’m not ready”! That is the most adult response you could give. You have no control over other people’s actions, but you are in full command of your own choices. Respect yourself enough to force others to respect you, as well, simply by your actions. It will be very difficult for someone to approach you with nonsense when you are armed with a healthy self-esteem and the ability to have a strong mind. The truth is if he/she really loves you, then he/she will wait until you are ready, rather than forcing you into making decisions that you are not ready for. Sex does not equal love!
Monday, August 18, 2008
Achieving Your Personal Goals
What a great feeling it is when you are successful and accomplish your intended goals! There is certainly a process that goes along with being successful. The start of this process is setting realistic goals and developing a timeline for your achievements. First and foremost, it is very important to learn to become punctual. Whether you have date deadlines or time deadlines, it is an extremely important practice to get things done in a timely fashion. Next, determine what steps are necessary to accomplish your goals. For example, if you are a student with an intended major, speak with a counselor or professor in that field to find all of the requirements needed to successfully reach your goal; you need to know what courses you need to take; how many years of school you will need; what your financial status is or will be and whether you will need to apply for scholarships or loans for the entire time you need to be in school, etc. If you have a job and you want to get promoted or be considered for other positions, find out what that process entails; you need to know if taking courses will help in your promotion or position quest; you need to find out if relocating may be beneficial to you, your career choice and job availability, etc. The bottom line is that no matter what your goals are, you must do your homework in order to get started down your successful path. If you do your homework and set realistic goals, your failures and disappointments become minimal.
A very important factor in this process is knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are. It is always good to constantly fine tune the things that you know you are already good at and strengthen the areas that you know you could use improvement. For instance, If you choose a path that will include being knowledgeable in math, but you know you are not a math genius, start with the level of math that you know you can handle and then gradually push yourself to the next level of difficulty. Do not give up on your dreams because you are not great at one piece of the total picture. Be honest with yourself about what YOU want to achieve. Most of us are influenced at an early age to become doctors or lawyers or some super hero athlete. Those are all wonderful expectations, but that is not realistic for everyone. Follow YOUR dreams and expectations.
Even when you take all of the steps necessary to become successful, sometimes you will still be met with adversities. Therefore, you will also need to learn how to deal with set backs. The first thing to do when you are disappointed with an outcome is to ask yourself whether or not you have done everything possible to achieve the goal in question. You have to be absolutely honest with yourself about your achievements because only you know whether you worked hard enough, gave it your all or put your best foot forward and you would only be cheating yourself to not answer those questions sincerely. You have no control over another person’s decision making process, but when you know that you have done your very best, rather than being disappointed in yourself, you will learn to re-assess your accomplishments, be constructively critical of your output, brush yourself off and get back in the race with the same confidence and enthusiasm as you had the first time around. One important lesson to learn is to not blame others for your failures. This is unhealthy behavior simply because if you do not take responsibility for your own life and how you handle its ups and downs, it will be very difficult for you to achieve your goals. If you do not recognize what YOUR faults are, you cannot correct them. Blaming others for your downfalls will definitely keep you from improving and progressing in your life. Remember to always keep a positive attitude, even in the face of adversity.
A very important factor in this process is knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are. It is always good to constantly fine tune the things that you know you are already good at and strengthen the areas that you know you could use improvement. For instance, If you choose a path that will include being knowledgeable in math, but you know you are not a math genius, start with the level of math that you know you can handle and then gradually push yourself to the next level of difficulty. Do not give up on your dreams because you are not great at one piece of the total picture. Be honest with yourself about what YOU want to achieve. Most of us are influenced at an early age to become doctors or lawyers or some super hero athlete. Those are all wonderful expectations, but that is not realistic for everyone. Follow YOUR dreams and expectations.
Even when you take all of the steps necessary to become successful, sometimes you will still be met with adversities. Therefore, you will also need to learn how to deal with set backs. The first thing to do when you are disappointed with an outcome is to ask yourself whether or not you have done everything possible to achieve the goal in question. You have to be absolutely honest with yourself about your achievements because only you know whether you worked hard enough, gave it your all or put your best foot forward and you would only be cheating yourself to not answer those questions sincerely. You have no control over another person’s decision making process, but when you know that you have done your very best, rather than being disappointed in yourself, you will learn to re-assess your accomplishments, be constructively critical of your output, brush yourself off and get back in the race with the same confidence and enthusiasm as you had the first time around. One important lesson to learn is to not blame others for your failures. This is unhealthy behavior simply because if you do not take responsibility for your own life and how you handle its ups and downs, it will be very difficult for you to achieve your goals. If you do not recognize what YOUR faults are, you cannot correct them. Blaming others for your downfalls will definitely keep you from improving and progressing in your life. Remember to always keep a positive attitude, even in the face of adversity.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Find A Mentor; Be A Mentor
My oldest sister always made it her business to be in my business. I didn’t realize it at the time, but she was mentoring to me all along. As I got older, I recognized that I valued her opinion, I cherished her advice and sometimes wonder if I ever would have made it this far without her! She was always in my corner, through the good and the bad times. Today, she is still my mentor and she is in my corner when I need a push, someone to talk to or just a hug for comfort to let me know everything will be alright!
Having a mentor in your life is very important. If you already have someone that you are close to that you can turn to for help, then make sure that you never take advantage of that relationship. If someone has taken the time to support you and your life, always do what you can to show your appreciation. More than likely, all that it will take is for you to continue to strive for success. No one can make it in life alone. Behind everyone who has achieved success, I guarantee they will tell say they had a least one mentor that they turned to for guidance in their endeavors. Now, it is great to admire people who are already famous and who have been successful. You could certainly pattern some of their achievements. However, a good mentor is someone who is actually a part of your life. They know you, they care about you and how your life turn out and they will follow you throughout life. Your mentor could be a family member, a close friend, a teacher, etc. The most important thing to know is that a good mentor does not sugar coat things for you and does not necessarily make life easier for you, but they will certainly make sure that your quality of life improves. So, if someone is afraid to tell you when you make mistakes or help you correct the mistakes you have made, that is probably not someone who you should consider a mentor. However, if they push you to your limits for you to achieve greatness despite your resistance, hold on to that person for dear life!
On that same note, just like you have or will have a mentor or someone who has your best interest at heart, it is good for you to give back. You can mentor to people, as well. Mentoring covers all kinds of grounds. Maybe you know someone who values your opinion or just need to have life conversations with you. Maybe you see greatness in someone who doesn’t value their self worth. Make their life your business! Don’t just sit by and watch someone’s life fall by the waist side without even attempting to help them. The only myth about mentoring is that most people believe you are suppose to be an angel with no faults. Fortunately, that is not the truth or no one could ever mentor since no one is perfect! However, it is wise that if you have someone looking up to you, especially someone young and impressionable, that you do your best to stay out of trouble and do positive things that will make looking up to you worthwhile for them. Also, if you have the time and energy to do so, you can always mentor to more than one person at a time for different reasons.
Having a mentor in your life is very important. If you already have someone that you are close to that you can turn to for help, then make sure that you never take advantage of that relationship. If someone has taken the time to support you and your life, always do what you can to show your appreciation. More than likely, all that it will take is for you to continue to strive for success. No one can make it in life alone. Behind everyone who has achieved success, I guarantee they will tell say they had a least one mentor that they turned to for guidance in their endeavors. Now, it is great to admire people who are already famous and who have been successful. You could certainly pattern some of their achievements. However, a good mentor is someone who is actually a part of your life. They know you, they care about you and how your life turn out and they will follow you throughout life. Your mentor could be a family member, a close friend, a teacher, etc. The most important thing to know is that a good mentor does not sugar coat things for you and does not necessarily make life easier for you, but they will certainly make sure that your quality of life improves. So, if someone is afraid to tell you when you make mistakes or help you correct the mistakes you have made, that is probably not someone who you should consider a mentor. However, if they push you to your limits for you to achieve greatness despite your resistance, hold on to that person for dear life!
On that same note, just like you have or will have a mentor or someone who has your best interest at heart, it is good for you to give back. You can mentor to people, as well. Mentoring covers all kinds of grounds. Maybe you know someone who values your opinion or just need to have life conversations with you. Maybe you see greatness in someone who doesn’t value their self worth. Make their life your business! Don’t just sit by and watch someone’s life fall by the waist side without even attempting to help them. The only myth about mentoring is that most people believe you are suppose to be an angel with no faults. Fortunately, that is not the truth or no one could ever mentor since no one is perfect! However, it is wise that if you have someone looking up to you, especially someone young and impressionable, that you do your best to stay out of trouble and do positive things that will make looking up to you worthwhile for them. Also, if you have the time and energy to do so, you can always mentor to more than one person at a time for different reasons.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Self-Esteem vs. Self-Destruction
More often than not, you are probably your own worst enemy. You may think you are not pretty or handsome enough, not smart enough, too short or tall, too fat or thin, etc. My father use to say “toot your own horn, because if you don’t, nobody else will.” What he meant by that was simply if you don’t think that who you are or the things you do are important enough, then nobody else will either. When your confidence level rises, you learn that there is a balance of knowing that your life has room for improvement while feeling good about the decisions you have made thus far. To quote a famous comedian, “Self esteem is the esteem of YOURSELF”!! That means that people can tell you how beautiful, smart, witty, successful, etc. you are, but until you believe in yourself, hearing those things are just empty words. You have to love yourself enough to know that you matter. You are important!
There are several ways that you can begin to build your self-esteem level. To begin with, stop putting yourself down! If you find that you are always negative towards yourself, you must learn to stop that self-destructive behavior. The next time you begin to say what you cannot do or are not good enough for, stop yourself. Replace that negative energy by attempting to do positive things that you thought you could not do. It’s perfectly fine to look in the mirror and like what you see. It is perfectly fine to talk yourself and tell yourself that you are worthy, that you are smart, that you are beautiful. Surround yourself with positive people who you know will uplift your spirits and help to make you feel good about yourself. If someone gives you a positive compliment, simply say “thank you.” Try your best to stay away from people that are always putting you down or never have positive things to say about anything. If you are the person that everybody in your family/friend circle looks up to, then you need to add another circle of friends to your life with people in it that you can look up to. Always strive to improve yourself. You are capable of great things and you will never know what they are until you start to believe in yourself. A person with high self esteem hardly ever speaks on their greatness, they let their work or actions do all the talking for them.
Many of us confuse arrogance with high self-esteem. An arrogant person is someone who thinks they are better than everyone else. An arrogant person usually has an overbearing personality and while a person who is timid may look at an arrogant person in an admirable way, there is nothing admirable about being arrogant. In fact, an arrogant person usually has self esteem issues, as well. When you belittle other people to make yourself feel better, which is something an arrogant person tends to do, you actually have low self-esteem. Another type of person who has self esteem issues is a bully. Bullies tend to intimidate timid, inferior feeling people who think they cannot stand up for themselves. This behavior is probably the worst form of low self-esteem because innocent people are physically and verbally victimized because of another person’s esteem issues. If you are or know someone who is the victim of bullying please report this behavior as it can be very dangerous and even criminal.
When you finally reach the height of healthy self-esteem, you will notice that your personality will shine, that people will respect you more. But more than anything, you will feel better about yourself and you will know that it is OK to love yourself, in fact, YOU SHOULD LOVE YOURSELF. You are where your love starts. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t properly love others.
There are several ways that you can begin to build your self-esteem level. To begin with, stop putting yourself down! If you find that you are always negative towards yourself, you must learn to stop that self-destructive behavior. The next time you begin to say what you cannot do or are not good enough for, stop yourself. Replace that negative energy by attempting to do positive things that you thought you could not do. It’s perfectly fine to look in the mirror and like what you see. It is perfectly fine to talk yourself and tell yourself that you are worthy, that you are smart, that you are beautiful. Surround yourself with positive people who you know will uplift your spirits and help to make you feel good about yourself. If someone gives you a positive compliment, simply say “thank you.” Try your best to stay away from people that are always putting you down or never have positive things to say about anything. If you are the person that everybody in your family/friend circle looks up to, then you need to add another circle of friends to your life with people in it that you can look up to. Always strive to improve yourself. You are capable of great things and you will never know what they are until you start to believe in yourself. A person with high self esteem hardly ever speaks on their greatness, they let their work or actions do all the talking for them.
Many of us confuse arrogance with high self-esteem. An arrogant person is someone who thinks they are better than everyone else. An arrogant person usually has an overbearing personality and while a person who is timid may look at an arrogant person in an admirable way, there is nothing admirable about being arrogant. In fact, an arrogant person usually has self esteem issues, as well. When you belittle other people to make yourself feel better, which is something an arrogant person tends to do, you actually have low self-esteem. Another type of person who has self esteem issues is a bully. Bullies tend to intimidate timid, inferior feeling people who think they cannot stand up for themselves. This behavior is probably the worst form of low self-esteem because innocent people are physically and verbally victimized because of another person’s esteem issues. If you are or know someone who is the victim of bullying please report this behavior as it can be very dangerous and even criminal.
When you finally reach the height of healthy self-esteem, you will notice that your personality will shine, that people will respect you more. But more than anything, you will feel better about yourself and you will know that it is OK to love yourself, in fact, YOU SHOULD LOVE YOURSELF. You are where your love starts. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t properly love others.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Unconditional Love
We all have many different ideas of what it is like to be in love, to love someone and to have someone love us. The true way to find out if you truly love a person is to ask yourself what you expect from that person. If you have a laundry list of things they should do for you, although you may love them, your love for them is conditional. Relationships with conditions almost always have major downfalls. No two people will have all of the same ideas of how things should be and what each other should or should not do in a relationship and that is what causes the breakdown between two people. Unconditional love is when you love a person just for who they are and you only have their best interest in your heart, not what you think their best interest should be. You should learn to look beyond a person faults, beyond your expectations of who they should be and you should never burden them with a list of things you want from them. Unconditional love is selfless. It means you are willing to give and do for the people you love, despite what they have to offer you. It is about giving your all and doing your best in a relationship. We set ourselves up for failure when we force our expectations on other people. An excellent example of unconditional love is the kind of love a mother has for her newborn. A mother doesn't expect anything from her newborn child. She loves her child unconditionally! Learning to love unconditionally will certainly change your outlook on life. It frees you up from having anger and resentment in your heart when the people you love do not quite do what you think they should be doing. Instead, you send your loved ones on their way knowing that you have their best interest at heart. When you love unconditionally, it motivates the people in your life to make a positive change in their life (probably not over night, but it does start to happen gradually). So, if you don't already love everyone in your life unconditionally, try turning things around and start to love differently. Remember that you do NOT have the power to make anyone do anything they don't want to do. Continually reinforce the positive things that they are trying to accomplish and calmly express your disagreement with their negative behavior. With the thought that misery loves company, the negative things will eventually fade because they will no longer have you to entertain those negative thoughts.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Laziness is Next to Nothingness
Our world has made it so easy to become lazy. Everything can pretty much be done for us at the touch of a button. We could sit in our houses and do everything from shopping to communicating with family and friends and never come in real contact with an actual person. This way of living can be very unhealthy. The computer world can be a wonderful thing, but it shouldn't be the only way of life. There are so many things that need to be done without ever opening your laptop. Start your day by waking up early in the morning whether you have something scheduled to do for the day or not. Take care of things that need to be done at home. If you live with your parents and you already have a "things to do' list, then make sure that is taking care of. If you are in college or live alone, then do whatever you need to do to get your space neat and orderly. Give yourself plenty of time to take care of your personal hygiene. If you take care of this first thing in the morning, you are always ready when last minute activities pop up. If you have something scheduled for the day whether it is school, work or an appointment, make sure you know where you are going and give yourself time to get there without feeling rushed (this prevents road rage). If you don't have something already planned and have the ability to make plans, then make sure they are constructive plans whenever possible. These activities could include going to the library, starting an exercise regiment, job hunting, etc. There is nothing wrong with planning time to be with friends, but "fun" time certainly should not be the majority of your day. If you have planned your day accordingly, you will be tired enough to go to bed at a decent hour at night and won't feel sluggish to start your next day. Life is not boring when you fill it full of constructive things to do and not get caught up in laying around the house all day.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Get Off Your Pedestal
One of the most fulfilling things in life is helping others. I know for the most part you have been thinking that everyone should help you, you should come first, you, you, you.... Unfortunately for you, that couldn't be further from the truth. You probably are the sweetest person you know, and your family and friends probably think so too. However, as sweet as you are, life does not revolve around you. Take a minute to do something positive for someone else and let those actions become a part of your everyday life. How often are you grateful for the things that are done for you that you voluntarily do housework without being told to do so? Even better, do you help out at home without viewing it as a "chore"? After all, helping out should be done as a kind act, not as a burden that you rather not be bothered with. Helping others is a positive way to say thank you or just to show your care and have concern for other human life. That is why if you are giving out of the kindness of your heart, you never expect any favors in return. If your life is full of free time, find ways to volunteer in your community, make sure your parents aren't always running around for you while you are chilling at home doing nothing. If you have smaller siblings, make tutoring or mentoring to them your goal. If you don't, find some children in the neighborhood to tutor or mentor to. Use your time wisely and always find a way to do some good instead of always feeling like things should be done for you. No matter what is going on in your life, there is always room to lend a helping hand. It helps to know that there is always someone who needs your assistance, no matter how big or small. So, get off your pedestal and do some positive things for others!!
To Be Liked Or Not Like...
If you start your day as an emotional bomb just waiting to blow up at something or someone, stop and think ... how would you feel if you were suddenly bombarded by someone with a nasty attitude and you know you did nothing to deserve or provoke that negativity? We all would like to be liked and although you could never please everyone all the time, you could certainly change the way you react to things and how you are perceived by the majority of the people you come into contact with on a daily basis. For instance, if you are constantly irritated by the people around you in your everyday life, then know, it is probably you and your state of mind at that moment and not necessarily anything that they have done to you. It is time to target the things that exist on your mind that are just dead weight. As an example, if you are angry because it is a rainy day and you expected sunshine, please know that it is understandable to be disappointed in the change. However, think of this, you have no control of what the weather turns out to be on any given day. So, instead of focusing on being angry about something you have no control over, turn your attention on to something that can be done despite the rain, such as cleaning your room, studying or reading, spending quality time with your family, etc. The good news is the sun will shine again!! Then, on the next sunny day, pick up where you left off with those plans for the sunshine. Again, you are in control of what you do and your state of mind. Nobody wants to be around a person who is angry all the time for no valid reason. If you practice being angry all the time that will soon become your mood on a regular basis. Eventually, you won't even like yourself and that is exactly what you are trying to prevent! It really is easy to be liked!
Say Hello to The New You!
Up until this very moment, you have probably been moping around thinking the world owes you something, your parents should pay your way, your friends should like you, your boyfriend/girlfriend (and hopefully you don't have one yet!) should love you the way you think he/she should, and so on.... Well, if you learn this very valuable lesson right now, you are already on your way!! ... The only thing you have that was given to you without compromise is your life! Everything else is based on what you do, how you are and what your expectations of yourself are. Notice that I didn't put anyone else in that sentence. You are the only one in control of what makes you happy. You are the only one in control of how well your life will turn out. At this stage of your life, your parents are no longer responsible for the person you turn out to be. You have to step up to the plate and turn your program around. If you are ready for that one step, I can help you learn to be a better person, learn to make better decisions and help you to become a positive, well-rounded adult!
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