Self-Esteem vs. Self-Destruction

More often than not, you are probably your own worst enemy. You may think you are not pretty or handsome enough, not smart enough, too short or tall, too fat or thin, etc. My father use to say “toot your own horn, because if you don’t, nobody else will.” What he meant by that was simply if you don’t think that who you are or the things you do are important enough, then nobody else will either. When your confidence level rises, you learn that there is a balance of knowing that your life has room for improvement while feeling good about the decisions you have made thus far. To quote a famous comedian, “Self esteem is the esteem of YOURSELF”!! That means that people can tell you how beautiful, smart, witty, successful, etc. you are, but until you believe in yourself, hearing those things are just empty words. You have to love yourself enough to know that you matter. You are important!

There are several ways that you can begin to build your self-esteem level. To begin with, stop putting yourself down! If you find that you are always negative towards yourself, you must learn to stop that self-destructive behavior. The next time you begin to say what you cannot do or are not good enough for, stop yourself. Replace that negative energy by attempting to do positive things that you thought you could not do. It’s perfectly fine to look in the mirror and like what you see. It is perfectly fine to talk yourself and tell yourself that you are worthy, that you are smart, that you are beautiful. Surround yourself with positive people who you know will uplift your spirits and help to make you feel good about yourself. If someone gives you a positive compliment, simply say “thank you.” Try your best to stay away from people that are always putting you down or never have positive things to say about anything. If you are the person that everybody in your family/friend circle looks up to, then you need to add another circle of friends to your life with people in it that you can look up to. Always strive to improve yourself. You are capable of great things and you will never know what they are until you start to believe in yourself. A person with high self esteem hardly ever speaks on their greatness, they let their work or actions do all the talking for them.

Many of us confuse arrogance with high self-esteem. An arrogant person is someone who thinks they are better than everyone else. An arrogant person usually has an overbearing personality and while a person who is timid may look at an arrogant person in an admirable way, there is nothing admirable about being arrogant. In fact, an arrogant person usually has self esteem issues, as well. When you belittle other people to make yourself feel better, which is something an arrogant person tends to do, you actually have low self-esteem. Another type of person who has self esteem issues is a bully. Bullies tend to intimidate timid, inferior feeling people who think they cannot stand up for themselves. This behavior is probably the worst form of low self-esteem because innocent people are physically and verbally victimized because of another person’s esteem issues. If you are or know someone who is the victim of bullying please report this behavior as it can be very dangerous and even criminal.

When you finally reach the height of healthy self-esteem, you will notice that your personality will shine, that people will respect you more. But more than anything, you will feel better about yourself and you will know that it is OK to love yourself, in fact, YOU SHOULD LOVE YOURSELF. You are where your love starts. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t properly love others.